In New York a judge has ordered that a cat litter commercial be taken off the air because it doesn’t seem plausible. What? You mean a company produced a commercial that makes its product look better than a rival’s? What is the world coming to? What else will Judge Waystyme order pulled from the airwaves?(…That is if any of these songs would actually reach them…)
I Bought Myself A Liarbird – XTC
Did XTC really purchase a “Liar Bird?” We know they didn’t, Andy and boys just got hooked up with a really bad manager/lawyer/fluffer. Since there are no existing “Liar Birds” this little number must be excised from the earth and people must listen to “Feels So Good” by Chuck Mangione instead.
Man On The Silver Mountain – Rainbow
If there WAS a mountain made entirely out of silver it would be quite impossible to gain a foothold on it…meaning you’d go sliding down down down until you went sprawling across the gravely black top parking lot of your local Wal-mart or Chili’s. Silver Mountains are impossible so no deal. A week with any Kenny G record will suffice as punishment.
Ball Of Confusion – The Temptations
Judge Waystyme sent his bailiff to search the entire courthouse for the enormous ball the Temptations were asked to provide in their defense. There was a lint ball in a cupboard on the 6th floor and some sort of phlegmy thing which could have been considered a ‘ball’ in an ashtray by the front door but no ‘Confusion Ball’ to be found. Sentence: 20 to life without possibility for parole for any person associated with the Temps… and their families too! Just like in a real Mississippi courthouse. The world is sentenced to Nickelback’s latest release. Case closed.
Dracula’s Wedding – Outkast
Dracula isn’t real, which means his wedding isn’t either. Plus his fictional eyes burn at the sight of a crucifix so that’d make it hard for him to get to the church without fryballs. What? Vlad doesn’t practice that particular religion? “Impossible,” says Judge Waystyme, “he’s European!” Outkast meet The Temptations. While you break those rocks you can listen to a little Mister Wayne Newton.
Freedom – Charles Mingus
With the recent signing of this year’s NDAA by President Obama we now know FREEDOM is a transitory concept. And since, by definition you can either be “Free” or “Not Free” Freedom is no longer free so there is no Freedom. Charles Mingus, welcome to Guantanamo and a lifetime listening to Lady Antebellum!
Man, didn’t that seem like a long way to go to point out how ridiculous our court system seems. Time is wasted on whether one brand of cat litter can mask the smell of sh/t better than another while corporations are declared to be super-people, courts won’t do simple DNA tests to prove, or disprove, a person’s innocence and who cares if the government is watching/spying on Americans from space or listening to our phone calls or monitoring our emails (or web-site postings for that matter)? Sigh. I guess all I can say is “Don’t Monitor this Site, Read it Daily!”
This is Bingo Spinbridge signing off ‘til tomorrow by saying
“Happy Birthday” to John Spinbridge and BATANGO to all of you!