2012 Dopes at the PTC

I would like to point out to the Parents Television Council that there’s this thing called the off button. They even have them on those new fangled remote control do-hickeys, by cracky! PTC… you are what I like to call, um, unnecessary do-gooding busy bodies who take money from people who you scare into thinking THE WORLD IS ENDING because of something shown on TV that people who would give your fucked up organization money would never see anyway. Would you please throw a poisoned kool-ade picnic and take your families? Please?!?

That’s My Bitch – Jay-Z
“Don’t Trust the B____ in Apt 23.” I watched this show twice and got a few laughs out of it. You should watch it too because the PTC HATES IT. DVR it and watch a few seconds… anything to make the ratings go up. Oh, the B is for BITCH. They’re afraid of words and thoughts.
The Ballad Of TV Violence – Cheap Trick
In all of prime time TV there’s only one show listed as being safe for kids, “Who Do You Think You Are?” The rest are filled, to varying degrees, with everything the PTC HATES… which is sex, violence, people talking, acts of brutality, acts of kindness, love, humor and all of the other things that go into life as we know it. Wouldn’t it be great if every show was made for eight year olds? Yeah, that’d be great.
Theme From “Family Guy” – Cast
These goobers really really really really hate “Family Guy.” You know sometimes even I think FG crosses the ‘taste boundary’ but then I remember there’s other people in the world who have different outlooks and I think, “geezy kreezy, I could just turn the show off if I was really offended!” That hasn’t happened yet, but it might. Off Button. Remember.
Those Were The Days – Mary Hopkin
Dear PTC,
I have an idea. Raise a bunch of money and develop your own “traditional values” pilots. Pitch them to the networks. I bet you accidently create at least one thing worth watching. You could do shows on Traditional American Values like slavery, burning women as witches and ear nailing. Won’t that be interesting?
Bingo
Three Little Words – Milt Jackson & John Coltrane
The PTC hates words… especially Fuck, Shit and MILF. Here is their email address Editor@parentstv.org, and you should send them an email using these three words as creatively as possible (unless you’re in Arizona where it’s illegal to send words over the interwebs) letting them know what you think about their organization. You’re smart people… creativity is goal.
Ol’ Bing got a little fired up because these knuckleheads want Howard Stern removed from some lame shit reality show. I don’t listen to Howard Stern (‘cause I don’t have Sat Rad and I’m not interested) and I don’t watch reality shows. But this is morornic. They want him fired because of what they think he’ll say or do. Personallly, I’d like to see them marched off of a cliff based on what I think they’ll do… but that would be wrong headed.