Today’s our inaugural Daily Soundtrack Edition of “Who could, why…” in which we realize almost anything is possible!
Boxing Champ – Kaiser Chiefs
Floyd “Money” Mayweather is a boxer… a really good boxer who punches people into oblivion. He’s also a convicted woman batterer who threatened to “beat his kids.” An asshole.
Who could make me root for Mayweather? Why Manny Pacquiao! Pacquiao has spent the last week walking back comments that gays should be put to death just like the bible says. He says he was misquoted because he hasn’t read Leviticus yet. Huh? He also trotted out “some of my best friends are gay” and we know what that means. If these two ever fight (they’re either afraid, or in love) I hope they knock each other out.
Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop – Landon Pigg
I am all about the science and I believe the people who are currently figuring out the universe out are just about the greatest and most intelligent humans that have ever existed. Who could make me want to return to the dark ages and fight bubonic plague with a magic potion and prayer? Why, the scientists who have concluded that people who drink coffee live longer. Now I’ll never hear the end of it from my other half. SON OF A BITCH I HATE SCIENCE!
Teach Me Tonight – Dinah Washington
The “abstinence only” Sex-Ed proponents are about as stupid as you can get. Really. Abstinence only Sex-Ed leads to more teen pregnancies and abortions, exactly the opposite of what they say they want. (What they really want is “No Sex For Anyone” but that’s a different story).
Who could make me believe there’re people actually more clueless than the NSFA crowd? Why it’s the good people at the Ottawa Science and Technology Museum and their “Sex: A Tell All Exhibition.”
From the Winnipeg Sun via Gawker…
The exhibit includes floor-to-ceiling photos of nude toddlers, children, teens and adults, and an array of heated, flavoured and textured condoms rolled over wooden dildos. There’s also a ‘climax room’ with a round, low, leather bed, red curtains, a video screen showing animations of aroused genitals, and the voice of a man describing an orgasm. Next to close-up photos of adult genitals are video screens using animations to explain masturbation.
This exhibit was originally intended for 12 year olds. Oh, Canada.
The Spirit Of Radio – Rush
Slowly, but surely, radio stations all across America are turning to loud mouth know-it-alls who scream and rail and spout nonsense to an audience of dimwits and numbskulls who realize it’s so much easier when someone tells you what to believe. Music radio is rotting away.
Who could make me root for squawk radio? Why Bobby Brown! Bobby’s got a new song. It’s about Whitney. He tells her she’s the air that he was breathing. He begs her “don’t let me die!” Um Bobby, she can’t hear you. That’s the thing about death. It’s permanent.
Super Stupid – Funkadelic
Arizona is on a drunken bender of stupid law making. Their elected officials are drinking bottle after bottle of doofus juice and passing things like the law that said a woman is officially pregnant up to two weeks before conception. Before. Really.
Who could make me believe the government of Arizona isn’t filled with the dumbest f*cks in America? Why, it’s the courts of Florida. Just look up the Marissa Alexander case and you’ll agree… what tha?
And who could make me happy to be back here at this desk typing away tomorrow? Why it’s you fine reader! You.
See you then!