The world media/intertubes/tv/blognifiers are all kinds of everything today. All over the moonscape. And I’m not even going to write about the Obama Administration giving away everything to Multinational Corporations! We’re just sticking to the ridiculous. Well maybe that’s ridiculous but at least we’ll have new overlords to toil under waiting for our daily solyent blue. THIS… is the Good, Bad, Ugly, Rotten & Terrible…
I Can Barely Breathe – Manchester Orchestra
A father (who owns a ranch) noticed his four year old daughter hadn’t returned to the pic-nic after going into the family home. He decided to investigate and discovered a casual acquaintance molesting her. The father punched the man in the face until the man was forced to try and breathe through the back of his head. This new breathing technique was very unsuccessful. This is Good.
Girls! Girls! Girls! – Liz Phair
I have watched approximately 15 minutes of two episodes of the HBO program, “Girls.” It is the worst thing that’s ever been put on television or called a program or art or whatever the f*ck they’re calling it. It is so bad and I hate it so much that if someone merely mentions it I go into a screaming frenzy. I’m doing it right now. I can’t help myself. Arrrgh.
To the woman who has created this show… “I hate you. I can’t help myself. I really, really do. If this show is based upon the world you live in please stop subjecting us to it. If this is entirely a product of your imagination you should be institutionalized. Stop. I hate you. Sorry to be so mean but I hate you.”
I Don’t Want To See You Again – Peter & Gordon
UGLY? I’ll show you ugly! Madonna keeps flashing body parts at her concerts. A nipple here. An gymnified ass there. Her face everywhere. Why? Why do people pay money to be subjected to this pain? AND her ‘singing’. Why? I just have to ask again. Why?…………..Why?…………………………….Why?
Bacon Fat – Doc Watson
Burger King is testing out a bacon ice cream sundae. Just what America needs? Oh, I mean, JUST WHAT AMERICA NEEDS! I’m looking forward to the extremely rotten day when fast food chains sell large cups of High Fructose Corn Syrup that’s flavored to taste like bacon and strawberry hamburger pie. Then no one will be able to escape when rich people decide to hunt and kill us poor folk. If you can’t run, you’re an easy target!
The Horrible People – Marilyn Manson
Terrible: Women in the military who are raped cannot get an abortion through their military health care plan. Some senators, including a few Republicans (John McCain!?!), are trying to change rectify this situation (and ensure a woman isn’t forced to carry the baby of her rapist) in this year’s Military Appropriations Bill. Naturally those Lords & Ladies from the land Dumfukious (known as House Republicans) are making sure this doesn’t happen. They’re big fans of rape. They are terrible.
Lighter tomorrow? Are you kidding? Let’s go darker and deeper. Or go get a bacon sundae… I haven’t made my mind up yet.