2012 Things That Are Bad For You

Every day it turns out that something else is bad for you… first it’s eating lead based paint chips and then it’s cliff diving into a vat of Jello™ Pudding! What’s next? No really, what’s next… the Daily Soundtrack scoured the news this morning and found out!

Cake and Eggs – Deer Tick
Eggs! That’s right peepoles, a new study shows eating eggs is just as bad as smoking cigarettes when it comes to your arteries!!! And that’s very bad bad. But eggs still don’t cause emphysema or a million kinds of cancer so one out of three is better. And eat cake responsibly.

EGGS
Group Sex – Circle Jerk
Having sex with your students! If you’re a teacher having sex with your students is just plain bad. Having sex with four of your students at the same time is worse. (Ed Note: If you teach at a college and the students are the age of consent this is debatable) And don’t EVEN get me started on filming it so that everyone can easily find out about it. (Ed Note: Once again, debatable) A high schoolteacher in Texas did all of these things. (Ed Note: Yuck) Come on Arizona and Flordia, how are you going to up this crazy? Huh? We’re waiting. Texas has moved into the lead. Ed Note: This just in… all the students were over 18… what’s this story about then anyway? Weird.

But they were 18!?
Paranoid – Black Sabbath
Listening to Dave Mustaine of Megadeath. He believes President Obama staged the Aurora Colorado and Sikh Temple shootings in order to take away “America’s guns.” It appears when he was stitched together by Dr. Frankendipsh*t he got: the hands of a virtuoso, the voice of a strangled boll weevil and the brain of Abby Someone. America wants Mustaine to go back on drugs while waiting for his next album “King of Paranoid Delusions.” It’s autobiographical.
Really… no really
Don’t Drive Drunk – The Dirty Dozen Brass Band
Drinking 35 shots, bottles of beer and/or glasses of wine in 4 hours in bad, m’kay? Doing so will give you a blood alcohol level of .627%. That’s point six two seven percent in police talk. Which is about twice the level that will kill you. Some dumbsh*t in Iowa drank that much and then went for a spin in his kettlecorn powered automobile. The officers arrested him for “breathalyzing” at .48 but the hospital said “Whoa, this guy is ripped, let’s take some blood!” Thus .627%. In related news, in California Kevin asked, “where can I get a kettlecorn mobile?” You can’t they’re bad for you.
arrested for driving while blind
Happiness Is a Warm Gun – The Beatles (White Album)
Going to the theater. More tragedy… Another theater shooting… This time in Nevada, the land of whores hopes and crank dreams. A small crowd. A long movie. A late night showing. A man’s butt GOES TO SLEEP… He shifts in his seat. Boom! His loaded and ready to fire hand-gun weapon protection device falls from his pants pocket, hits the floor and shoots him in the leg! According to future Dave Mustaine “it wouldn’t have happened if all of America was armed to the teeth! This poor victim of Obamania would have been able to DEFEND himself from himself and the minute something happened he would have filled himself full of hot steamy lead!” Mustaine’s future voice had no comment as it was taking strangling lessons and his hands were idle.
right in the ass
That my friends is today’s Daily Soundtrack. There’s a lot bad for you out there. Stay Safe and only drink yourself to about 1.5… that’s a good buzz. Here’s Ol’ Bingo Signing out til August 27^th when we’ll return with all new DS’s. (Ed Note: Yep)